I’ve had my fair share of low points in my life but nothing like I did in April of 2019 when I was diagnosed with cancer. My whole world came crashing down around me and I felt like I was living someone else’s life. A life I wanted to give back so badly but couldn’t. June 2019 was when they removed the 7cm tumor and my life continued to change. I went into a very dark place and it took months and months for me to pull myself out of the muck. I won the battle but was left with many scars both physically and mentally. During that time, I felt afraid, helpless and alone. If being in an abusive relationship and coming from a broken home teaches you anything, it’s how to survive. So that’s what I did.

As life was looking up for me in November of 2021 I was hit with another crushing blow. A second cancer diagnosis. At this point life looked very different for me. I was finally divorced and a had a new set of people in my life. The first time I stayed very quiet about my diagnosis but this time I took the world with me on my healing journey via social media. Why? Because 2 Corinthians 1:4 So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.

I originally wanted this to be a book full of stories about my trials and how I overcame them but ultimately decided on a series of inspirational posts in a devotional style. I thought about the things I wanted to share and how I was going to help the person reading this. And here’s what I came up with. When I was at my worst, when I felt broken and alone, I wished for someone or something to pull me out of the darkness or at least to sit with me in it, to help me feel like everything was going to be alright. I just didn’t want to feel alone. I needed comfort and reassurance, or just a small sign letting me know I was going to make it. So here it is. Here is your sign that you are going to be ok.

The thing about being in a dark place is this… in the darkness is where seeds grow. It’s normal to go through bad times. It strengthens us and matures us. We must sit in our feelings for a time to learn about ourselves. Feel everything there is to feel. Cry every tear you need to cry but do not stay in that place. No matter how hard it is you have to get up.

I can give you all of the encouragement and reassurance in the world, but eventually words can all start to sound the same and I can only go but so far with you but so far on your journey of restoration. What you do from this moment on is solely up to you.

As I share my life stories and how I overcame the darkest parts of my life to still see the beauty in every day I can only hope my words resonate with someone out there.

With so much love,

SJM

“And if you cannot find your way out of the darkness, I will sit there with you and show you the stars. N.R. Hart