Social media, we all use it, we love it and if we have ever been dealt a bad hand by the algorithm gods, we also hate it. Some use it for fun with no strings attached. Others for inspiration if they’re an artist of any type or really into fashion. Most seem to use it for work because let’s face it, being a social media influencer or the ever increasing in popularity UGC creator is a career now. Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay and will always be evolving. I myself like many am a business owner and use social media for all the reasons above. However, as I found out recently, I am not a no strings attached kind of girl. I use Instagram and TikTok religiously and have all the strings attached. You could say we go together… real bad. That is up until a few weeks ago when I decided to break up with scrolling to work on my relationship with God. I’ve gone on different types of fasts before, I’ll talk about them in depth another time, but I have fasted from food, all foods, certain types of foods, all enjoyable foods… I’m looking at you Daniel Fast! This time is different. I wanted to participate in Lent.

If you’re not familiar with Lent it is a 40-day season of prayer and fasting, commemorating the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert while being tempted by the devil. It begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Thursday. I’ve always wanted to participate but didn’t know the whole meaning behind it and if I’m being honest, the thought of giving something up for 40 days intimidated me, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? So, when my pastor mentioned it in the weeks leading up to Lent, I got serious and thought hard about what to give up. Coffee? While I do have a borderline co-dependent relationship with coffee it wasn’t going be the sacrifice, I felt worthy enough for something so beautiful. Wine? Nah, been there done that.

Over the weeks I kept feeling this urge, this prompting to give up social media. I kept pushing the thought away. Surely that’s not it. That can’t be it. As I’m lying in bed scrolling, laughing and commenting on TikTok at 2am I sat disappointed in myself and realized, yeah. It’s got to be social media. It’s a must! The time I spent scrolling I could have been praying, working on my book, creating content for my business among so many other things!

Now that the decision was made panic set in! What am I going to do if I start losing followers?! My business page can’t lay dormant. Then I started talking myself out of it. I have brands I’m currently working with and agreements in place. Finally, the answer came to me. I’ll still make content but have my kids post it. My hands and conscience will be clean.

The first few days were rough. Not horrible but not fun either. The constant urge to grab my phone and tap the Instagram icon called to me like a flame luring a moth. TikTok was no better, I was a crow and it was something shiny and pretty that needed my attention. I don’t even care for Facebook and I wanted to jump on and see what new toxic topic had everyone salivating over their keyboards. After the first few days I felt good. Like I accomplished something. Then around day 4 I felt off. My heart was racing, I had a headache and couldn’t sleep. Anxiety had entered the chat! FOMO had come in and taken up residency in my head.

Days 5 through 10 were much the same but worse. I prayed. A lot. As I was standing in a long line at Wal-Mart, I had a thought. It was this very thought that made me take my phone out of my pocket and Google social media addiction. It was in this moment articles, videos and Reddit threads filled my phone screen. I was shocked and amazed at all the people that had experienced what I was going through and countless therapists offering their services to help.

What really got me was the 2020 documentary I came across called The Social Dilemma. People whose jobs it was to create algorithms, like buttons and such all talking about the dangers and pitfalls of social media. It’s a trap… if you’re not careful. As days have gone on, I began to feel a lot better. No more anxiety, no more Fomo. And best of all… I started feeling better about myself. Which I’ll talk about body image another time but without me being on social media I had no one to compare myself to. Not just physically but in business as well. No one for me to look at and say oh her business is thriving more than mine. Her body is so beautiful! None of that. It was just me. Nothing to pollute my thoughts or the image of myself. It was almost like I’ve created this blank slate in my mind of what and who I want to be without outside influence.

Best of all, I could hear from God way better and much more clearly! I am much more present IRL without having my phone in my hand I can really concentrate on what’s going on in my life off the screen. I’m coming up on almost 3 weeks of no social media and mentally I feel better than I have in a very long time. I’m at the halfway mark and I can only imagine how good I’ll feel at the end of this. I will update you at the end of the 40 days. What will happen then, I don’t know. I still need social media to accomplish certain goals in my business and reach people, but I hope when I go back I do it in a healthy way. I started my social media fast to get closer to God and that is definitely happening, but the added bonus is I feel closer to myself.