Many say to be baptized is a public declaration of your faith. That you are a committed follower of Jesus Christ. To me it’s almost too hard to put into words… almost, but I’ll try.
You see I lived my life thinking I was this amazing person. That my sins weren’t all that bad. You know, compared to the sins of others. Years ago, every Sunday I was dropping my kids off in Sunday school then went to the main sanctuary to praise, worship and be filled with the word of God. Yet, I was a bona fide sinner Monday through Saturday and back at church on Sunday.
I wasn’t doing anyone wrong. I wasn’t lying, cheating or stealing but I was fornicating, clubbing, drinking, cursing and ready to fight at the slightest hint of disrespect. How foolish was I.
Can I be real here? I believed in God… kinda. I think I was going through the motions but was also too scared to really do anything too crazy. You know, just in case. A part of me, not too deep down always felt regret for the things I was doing. But I used the excuse that I had been kicked out of home at 15 years old and a single mom of 5 and had been in that relationship since I was 17. I wanted to be free and not worry about God’s judgment. It was my turn to turn up and have fun!
This was all in my mid-twenties. Which now at 43 feels like a lifetime ago. Someone else’s life, not mine. I say that because the life I live now looks drastically different. I very much have the fear of God in me. Fear in this case meaning respect and in awe of Him.
After saving me from cancer, abusive relationships and a marriage that I openly admit I never should have been in… I know God exists. I know God loves me but He also corrects me. That correction can sometimes feel like He is being extra hard on me, but His love. His love makes up for it.
When I was baptized back on October 1st 2023, it was more than a public declaration of my faith. I went in the water broken, lost, and unsure of what the future held for me. I came out of the water whole, feeling seen and yet I still was unsure of what the future held for me but the difference that came shortly after I was back home in dry clothes was this… I may not know what the future holds for me, but I know who holds my future in His hands. It’s written in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Prior to that day I had already turned my life around. All the way around! When I said that I felt lost, I did, because I was trying to figure out this new me. Who I was with God. After the baptism things began to fall into place and questions were answered. I was still me. Goofy, loving, nurturing and so many other things. The good things were still here but the bad was now gone! The parts of me that didn’t glorify God were now gone. The urge to do the things I was doing, was now gone.
To me being baptized was the beginning of the rest of my life walking with God and surrendering to His will for my life.
Devoted To Her 